“Too Much”

You will always find people who have no problem with telling you that you're too loud, too passionate, too competitive, too outspoken, or too intense. Too weird, too emotional, too opinionated, too dramatic, too everything.

But none of these things are flaws. I taught myself that. They're gifts. I'm competitive, passionate and emotional because I care. I'm weird, dramatic and intense because I'm no longer afraid to be myself.

I'm opinionated and outspoken because I believe in standing up for what I think is right. I'm loud because I've learnt it's not other people that have to like you; it's you. Because I don't even like everyone, so why on earth would everyone like me?

I'm used to being told to calm down or to tone it down a bit. But being considered too much shouldn't be seen as a problem that needs to be fixed, because maybe it's not that at all. Maybe it just means that you feel deeply, laugh loudly, and love wildly and wholeheartedly.

Not a flaw, but a fire that the world has forgotten how to sit around without trying to put it out. People that aren't used to fire will always say it's too hot, and of course people that have only ever swum on the surface are going to think that the deep of the ocean is terrifying.

Behind every girl who's been seen as "too much" is a girl who was brave enough to make the decision not to dull her edges for a world that fears sharp things.

There were times I tried to shrink myself down to please people – feel less, speak softer and less often, and be more likeable.

But that's too draining to do, because you can't make yourself fit in a room you aren't meant to be in. So, I stopped apologizing and dimming myself down for the benefit of others and started taking up space again.

Maybe I am too much, or maybe I'm just enough. Maybe I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but that only makes each connection I do find, more special.

I'm full of life, and I'm overflowing with feeling. I get excited over little things. I hug my friends when I see them, even if it's only been a day. I double, triple, and quadruple text, and send ridiculously long paragraphs when I have something to say.

I laugh at everything, even the silly little things. I talk way too much. I light up when I'm telling someone about the things I love. I was born to be full volume; I was made for deep talks late at night and crying during movies that aren't even that sad.

The Mad Hatter once told Alice that she had lost her muchness, and that she used to be much muchier. The people who truly matter won't just tolerate that muchness, they'll actually fall in love with it, because Pinterest once told me that "you can never be too much for somebody who can't get enough of you".

I'm loud and talk more than I should, say things I'm not meant to, and I'm both passionate and excitable. I'm not asking for permission to be who I am. I'm a bit much, and that's fine by me.